First thing we had to do on Friday 6/26 was purchase Mary Grace some clothes and buy socks, underwear, etc for John Brooks.
(Since I have had a lot of experience dealing with funeral homes) I can’t help but invision passing by one day and there be a YARD SALE sign outside. You know selling the items that never make it in the coffin. Socks, underwear, shoes, pants, jewelry, etc. Nothing personal to anyone employed by the funeral home (I have no proof of this), I just feel that they catch you in a very gullible state of mind. They wanted $75.00 for a guest book when John Brooks died. I went to Wal-mart and purchased one for less than $5.00. I remember when my Sister passed and there was a $150.00 charge for the flower truck, she had requested no flowers so was able to get them to remove that charge. I worked for a Automobile Dealership Group for 22 years so I know a thing or two about sales.
OK, back to story:
We left the funeral home and headed to Greenpond to check the mail. This is the first time I had even thought about the mail. I was hoping there would be something in the mail to help solve this puzzle. Anyway, I went in the post office with a copy of temporary guardianship and requested the mail. I explained that I was John Brooks’s cousin from Florida. The postmaster looked confused and told me that someone had already picked up John Brooks mail and claimed to be the cousin from Florida. I then filled out the necessary paperwork so this could not happen again -from then on I was the only one that could get the mail. Since I did not have the box key, I had to change the lock at a cost $31.98. I went straight to the Town Hall to try to fill out a police report but, no one was there so I picked up the original guardian paperwork.
We had to get to the hospital to meet the DHRS . After his interview with me, Social Workers and Mary Grace he approved her release. As you might know that does not mean you get up right then and go home. We waited on Doctors last visit, writing of new prescriptions, instructions for home care and of course final discharge paperwork.
We got back to Woodstock in time to pick up medication for Mary Grace and take her to dinner. We got her room set up and I helped get her ready for bed. She wore her new pajamas-for the first and last time. After that night Mary Grace insisted sleeping in her clothes. No matter what we did she will not take off her clothes for bed. I even purchased her a camisole to wear as a undershirt–she would not let me take off her blouse. Her caregiver and I have discussed this at length–maybe she does not want to take time to dress in the morning, maybe she has not worn pajamas in so long?? We just don’t know. Another thing, she will not sit on a stool in the shower or tub. (she is given a sponge bath) Makes us wonder if something happened to make her afraid of the water. Guess we will never know.
Saturday and Sunday was spent getting Mary Grace ready for the service on Monday. She was taken for her first pedicure. (see pictures below) The purpose was not like most of us: to have our feet pampered and toes polished but to get her feet clean and nails cut. She was so cute–the guy taking care of her did not speak English well, so he would not answer her questions. She would tap him with her walking cane to get his attention. She told him “my nails are so long I could scratch the fleas off a chicken”. He also gave her a manicure but she would not let him polish her nails. Our friend’s daughter in law cut and styled her hair.
We had stopped by Lowe’s to purchase more locks for the house–so we went to Mary Grace’s house and replaced more of Tyler’s locks with ours. ( A lot of good that did)
We went to police station and filed a report about someone picking up the mail without authority. Seems the police had already gotten word. Officier Jerry Lightsey had a lineup printed out, and I identified Cami (Tyler’s girlfriend). Picking up someone’s mail may not sound like a big deal but, I consider it stealing and at that point I was looking for answers that might come in the mail.
On Sunday we met our friend for lunch and made the arrangements for her to go to Fl. and take care of Mr. Lawrence. We then went and purchased clothes for Mary Grace to wear Monday. Next Charlie and I visited a couple of places we could place Mary Grace for a few weeks until we could get all this mess settled. At this point, I was not going to let her go back home, even if I found someone to live with her. The living conditions were too bad and I still had to look into her financial situation. I could leave her where she was staying for now but, that was not fair to them, they both worked and I did not feel I could put that responsibility on them, especially long term.
When we got to Mary Grace’s, I bathed her and she tried on her new clothes.
OK-Let’s keep talking
Reta
It may put your mind at ease to know that MG being afraid of water could be normal with any form of dementia. My Grandmother was afraid of crayons. With my aunt it was the white lines in a parking lot or blades of grass, taking a bath. I have worked with many dementia and Alzheimer’s patients and one became hysterical over a walk in shower. Her doctor explained it was a depth perception problem that often accompanies dementia.
Thanks for writing Reta, it’s very interesting to hear your side of the story.
I wonder, how did you identify Cami in the line up, if you were not present when she picked up the mail? Did you simply identify her as Tyler’s girlfriend after seeing her at the hospital, and assume that she had been the one to pick up the mail, or…?