No Girls or Dumb Bastards Allowed

My great-grandparents are Daniel Zadock Carroll (1852-1933) and Lida Margaret Miller (1870-1958). He was the mail carrier, of course by horse and buggy.

I know what you are thinking, and, no, she was not kin to Brooks Miller.

Daniel and Lida welcomed nine children, one being my Grandmother Beulah Carroll, born May 28, 1897, and one being Aunt Daisy, born Oct. 1, 1889. Aunt Daisy was the mother of Mary Grace. When she was born, Daisy weighted 2 1/2 pounds. I remember Mother talking about how she could fit in a quart jar. Not really sure how they knew that; I’m sure it was never proven.

Mary Grace, born Nov. 29, 1926, was an only child and is quick to let you know she liked it that way. She says she got all the attention and didn’t have to share her toys. She was a daddy’s girl, for sure. She suffered a bone disease called osteomyelitis when she was a child. I found the following write-up when I was cleaning out the house: 

This has left her with an open hole in her leg that we have to watch closely. When she was in the hospital after John’s death, it was infected. But, she tells you it does not cause her any pain.

Mary Grace went to elementary school in Woodstock then attended high school at a private school in Birmingham called The Misses Howard’s School for Girls. She would catch the bus at the general store in Woodstock and return home every day. She says Aunt Daisy walked her to the store every morning and would be there every evening to walk her home. I recently got a call from someone who said that some days Mary Grace would get off the bus at his house and teach his sister piano lessons. Afterwards, they would drive her home. You will not be around Mary Grace long without her talking about Misses Howard’s School. One story she tells is about how other kids would have to stay late because they would not have their lesson books up-to-date, but not her. She will say that Miss Pearl was a hard teacher, and you always wanted to do what she said. She also talks about how Miss Howard wanted to be buried in England and wonders if she was.

Uncle Brooks bought Mary Grace a new red T-bird. We think it was either a 1959, 1960, or 1961. It was still on the property when John passed.

I don’t have a lot of childhood memories of Mary Grace because of the age difference. I do remember her coming by the house often and having a cup of coffee with Dad.  She always wore bright colored clothes–this was before they became fashionable. And hats, she loved her hats.

Mary Grace says she met Tom McLemore at the Presbyterian Church in Greenpond, where they were later married. The reception was at the home of my Granddaddy Holdsambeck.

I was 8 months old when she got married in 1952. For years I have had a picture of their wedding in my hallway. I love this picture, not only because it was a beautiful wedding, but because it included my father as an usher, my aunt as a bridesmaid, and my big sister as a flower girl.

I am sharing all of this so you will understand the controversy of the podcast; I was not just the lost cousin from Florida but a member of this family who I grew up with, loved, and cared about.

Mary Grace and Tom moved to Indiana and lived there for 12 years. She worked at a library and has a few stories about that, too. From some of the pictures below, it seems that Uncle Brooks and Aunt Daisy visited often.  

Aunt Daisy was diagnosed with breast cancer while Mary Grace lived in Indiana. I remember hearing that my mother and my mother’s sister would sit up with her and took care of her. Aunt Daisy was a great seamstress. I asked Mary Grace not long ago if Aunt Daisy made her wedding dress. She said no, but she made my graduation dress; it was white.

After the death of Aunt Daisy, Mary Grace and Tom moved back to live with Uncle Brooks. The house was remodeled:   Before pictures:Pics of Miller house before remodel

After Pictures:Pics after house remodeled

While she was in Indiana, they got a bird named “Romeo.” The “Miner” bird was huge, black, and could talk. When I would visit as a child, it was amazing to me. Mary Grace says the bird could call John B. and that it sounded just like her. John would come in the house want to know what she wanted, and she would say, “Nothing, it was Romeo that called you.” That would make John so mad. LOL.

There were times when Mary Grace would call me at work, and I would put her on speakerphone just to share her unique voice with my co-workers. She would end the conversation in mid-sentence with, “Love you, bye,” and would be gone before you could say good-bye yourself.

I mostly saw John B. as a child when he came to visit my granddaddy. I remember his red hair and that he was hyper and walked on his toes. Most of my stories come from Mary Grace. We all know about his love for tearing up things and putting them back together. Once when John was 6 or 7, they were visiting Aunt Gertrude and she mentioned that her clock was broken and would cost $200 to fix. Well, John fixed it. And when Aunt Gertrude jokingly asked him what she owed him, he told her $200.  Mary Grace laughs when she tells this story.

While Brian Reed was recording S-Town, he kept wanting to hear stories about John’s childhood. I was 14 years older. He was only 3 when I graduated high school, then I went to work the next week and got married four years later. He was 8 when I got married. Anyway, I finally told Brian he needed to talk to Mary Grace because she would be the best one to share stories about his childhood. I made the arrangements with her caregiver, blindfolded Brian, and took him to see Mary Grace. Just kidding about the blindfolding.

I introduced them and told her he was a friend of John’s. After we talked for a while, I explained to her that Brian was doing a story about John and would like to ask her some questions and record her. She said, “Sure, John is my favorite subject. I love to talk about him.”

The story I remember the best and thought was the funniest was:

Mary Grace: You know I always wanted a boy. And I told the doctor that if I had a girl, he could keep her. And I always wanted a genius. I prayed for a genius.

Brian: Why was it so important for you to have a genius?

Mary Grace: Well, I didn’t want a dumb bastard! … John was always tearing up something and putting it back together. I was fine with it; that kept him out of my hair. (Then she laughed.)

I so wanted Brian to put this in his podcast. I thought it would have been a great way to end it. But, he was afraid people would have trouble with her credibility because of dementia.

She really does not have much of a problem remembering the past. I have called my aunt in California to verify some of the relatives I didn’t know, and she would confirm Mary Grace was correct.

Mary Grace told me that one of John’s professors said that he was so smart. “He did not have to tell me,” she said. “I had him tested when he was young, and his IQ was so high they could not grade him.

Ok–Let’s keep talking,

Reta