I have experienced so many emotions over the past few years: Grief, Anxiety, Regret, Embarrassment and yes even fear but, the one I am most ashamed of is anger. Anger is described by Google as: An intense negative emotion ranging from mild irritation to rage.
It is not uncommon to experience anger but, when anger becomes a part of your life it can become unhealthy. Anger has never been a huge factor in my life, I should say my emotion would be classified as the -mild irritation not rage. And maybe I am getting anger confused with disappointment and frustration. So much has happened since John Brooks pasted that I sometimes let anger get in the way of my blessings. I sometimes wonder what happened to me-where did that happy go lucky lady go? The lady that worked hard and planned for her retirement so she would be able to enjoy her senior years. The lady that enjoyed life and tried to find the good in bad situations. Then there was S-Town, I found myself in a place where I felt I was having to fight for everything I felt was right.
While writing this blog, I have had the best proof readers a blog writer could have. ( is that a proper sentence?) lol
One pointed out to me –some of your statements are really sharp–and that is OK if that is what you are going for. Well, it wasn’t so I tried to calm it down. I didn’t want to show my anger but, it was an emotion that I felt.
I was planning to address some of the questions and concerns that were mentioned on the discussion groups but, I decided against that. It is better for me not to get involved with the group discussions. There are many that will never understand my point of view. ( that is fine) Besides, whenever I try to explain they just chew me up and spit me out.Some people are like vicious animals waiting on their next meal, and when I comment it just feeds them. However, I will touch on a few topics that seemed to cause confusion.
John Brooks’ head stone: This is pretty simple, there was no money —and with the headstone that Tyler made meant that John did have his identity.
Burt’s buying the property: I would have to say, John Brooks did not have the same feelings that the podcast portrayed. I don’t believe John Brooks had any animosity against the Burt’s. John Brooks’ family and Kendall’s family (on his mother side) go way back. Kendall’s aunt and my aunt (Mary Grace’s first cousin) were best of friends since childhood and remained best friends until his aunt’s death. Once when my aunt was in Alabama with Kendall’s aunt, they decided to come to Florida for a visit. We had a great visit, one I will never forget. Kendall’s aunt was in Mary Grace’s wedding and Kendall’s Aunt and Mother were both at John Brooks’ burial service. I went to church with Kendall’s grandmother for years. John would often go to K3 Supply just to visit and shoot the bull with Kendall. When I was trying to find out the value of the lumber that was in the trailer and buses, I contacted Kendall about receipts for materials John purchased. It was at that time Kendall expressed interest in buying the property. I didn’t want to list the house with a realtor for several reasons so the Burt’s were the best fit. And it might interest you to know the last day John purchased materials from K3 Supply was on 6-16-2015, less than a week before his death, and you can add K3 Supply to the list of John’s debtors. Even to this day, Kendall’s mother and my aunt still talk frequently.
My connection to Tyler’s family: Some seem to think that I knew Tyler’s family from when I lived in Woodstock. I have been gone from Woodstock 33 years. I only knew Tyler’s mom when she was playing ball–it was around 1979 or 1980
I got a lot of criticism for selling Tyler’s kids toys–the toys that was in the dining room belonged to John Brooks. At one time, I saw a picture or video of a house John constructed with legos.
Guardian: I know someone ask, well, in the podcast Reta said she didn’t need this, Tyler could move in with Mary Grace and she would go back home. So why didn’t she just go back home? First of all, no one needs this. It is bad enough to lose a family member and at first it seemed that even Mary Grace was not going to cooperate with me. Then when Tyler went to the property the same night. I was not leaving Mary Grace, I guess you can say I came to my senses.
Blog: There are even a few that believe I am making money from this blog. Well maybe some people can or do but, I am not one of them, I wouldn’t even know how. After my nephew set up the blob, I had to pay a lady just to tutor me on how to use it. Believe me, it cost me money. If I can just get these last few posting published, I will never do this again. It is too stressful for someone my age.
My Comments: I will say, I thought I would have had more comments on this blog, people seemed to have so many questions —this was your chance to ask me and get your answers. I do hope that this blog gave you some insight to what I have being dealing with for the past 3 years and what it means to be a guardian of another person. Never sign up for this if you are not going to be totally committed and take this position every serious. You are not only trying to live your life but you are totally taking on the task of helping someone else live their life. I could not have done this without the help from my husband, family members and friends. Of course, it helps that Mary Grace has been so agreeable. I can’t express enough how blessed I am to be a part of her life. She always puts a smile on my face and makes everything I have been though worthwhile. As, I have said before, all I did then and do now is for her, every situation I had to deal with, I was seeing though her eyes. I will have to be honest here, I know this podcast was all about John Brooks and his life but, sometimes it makes me sad that the one who has lost the most, which was Mary Grace, has been overlooked. So many in this story were closer to John Brooks than his mother and I understand, but those who say they were best buddies with John Brooks hasn’t even taken the time to ask about his mother. (Just saying)
Thanks so much for reading. One more post and I will stop talking.
Reta
